Yesterday's follow-up: Tubac, longer version

So here is the more elaborated form of the poem "Tubac" I spoke of yesterday.  If you care to weigh in on which you like better, and why, I would love to hear it.

Tubac                                                                                                         

Effortless

the hawk

 jet black

against blue

jade cactus

below

dry brown

rocky hills

rise on

the horizon.

embracing

wings wide

adrift

with the draft

just being

floating

             at rest

                        in the pause

                                    before

hunt and hunger

saguaro

            seared rock

                        hot wind

                                    brittlebush

her keen eye

            surveys

                        all this

                                    that exists

                                                between

earth and sky