Monday, June 25, 2012

Summer School (Fireflies) next version...

Here is the same poem from my previous post,  me tightening up the meter/syllable counts per line.   Sometimes I think it is structurally better to have everything evened out, other times I like the ragged edges for the flow of the meaning.

If anyone has an opinion regarding the two versions, would love to hear it!

Summer School

I remember lightning bugs:
first time I saw them,
a golden buzz blinking
in black of the night.

My cousins with a Bell jar,
holes punched in metal
for catching the laggards
and twisting lid tight.

I felt myself mesmerized;
that belly on fire
twinkling, one moment here
then one moment done

Ah, the thrill of the capture!
Delicate creature!
But once I encased it,
I wanted it gone

released to the nighttime sky,
back to the starshine;
because in the glass was
a prison and death.

I ached when I saw her there,
glow slowly fading,
wings searching for freedom,
she struggled for breath.

For here was a lesson learned
early in childhood,
though I had not words for
this wisdom I'd learned:

In the act of possessing
you kill what you love.
In taking the fire of
another, you burn.

No comments:

Post a Comment